D E P I R A T A S
Hace mucho tiempo vivía un hombre de mar, el Capitán Bravo. Era muy
valiente y jamás mostró temor ante un enemigo.
Una vez navegando los siete mares, el vigía vio que se acercaba un
barco
pirata y la tripulación del barco se volvió loca de terror. El
Capitán
Bravo grito:
¡Que me traigan mi camisa roja!
Y llevándola puesta instigo a sus hombres al ataque, y con gran
furia y
coraje vencieron a los aguerridos piratas.
Unos días mas tarde, el vigía vio dos barcos piratas. El Capitán
pidió
nuevamente su camisa roja y la victoria volvió a ser suya, tras una
encarnizada lucha llena de valentía.
Esa noche, a las luz de la celebración y euforia, sus hombres le
preguntaron por que pedía la camisa roja antes de entrar en batalla
y el
capitán contesto, con una seguridad admirable:
-Hombres míos, si yo soy herido en combate, la camisa roja no
dejara ver
mi sangre y mis hombres continuaran peleando sin miedo; y yo seré
capaz
de soportar el dolor al voltear a verlos luchando siempre a mi
lado.
Todos los hombres quedaron en silencio, maravillados por el coraje
de su
Capitán, hombre infranqueable y líder auténtico.
Al amanecer del día siguiente, el vigía gritaba a todo pulmón:
-¡DIEZ BARCOS PIRATAS! ¡DIEZ BARCOS PIRATAS!
Mismos que inminentemente se acercaban. Toda la tripulación se
estremeció y dirigió en silencioso suspenso sus ojos temerosos a su
Capitán, que sereno, con voz potente y sin demostrar miedo grito
con
toda sus fuerzas:
-¡AAAHH CABRON!... ¡AHORA NECESITO QUE ME TRAIGAN MI PANTALÓN CAFÉ!
DR PHIL'S INNER PEACE
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we
all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard
on a Dr. Phil show,I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I
started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I
finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle
of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of Ben
and Jerry's double chocolate almond butterscotch ice cream, the rest of
the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.
A man is dating three women and wants to pick one to
marry. He decides
to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of
$5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy
beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and
buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely
for the man. She tells him that she has done this to
be more attractive for him because she loves him so
much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She
gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for
his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she
has spent all the money on him because she loves him
so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the! stock market. She
earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his
$5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman
had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
